The denizens of the Unfriendly Brawl who yearn only to hold the holy doorknob of vitality and to draw every card in their decks.
Portuguese man whose only life goal is to cast Season's Past and put 17 cards into hand.
Likes: Thraben Inspector, Panharmonicon, Sandsteppe Mastodon
Dislikes: Nexus of Fate, Ensnaring Bridge
Hot Take: Standard is fun
Still taking an extra turn, completely lost in the sauce. May never be seen again.
Likes: Nexus of Fate, Time Walk,
Dislikes: Ugin's Nexus, Gaddock Teeg
Hot Take: My turns > Your turns
Waiting for green midrange to be playable, taking a trip to valuetown in the meantime.
Likes: Garruk, Caller of Beasts, Acidic Slime, Life from the Loam
Dislikes: 3feri, Wilderness Reclamation
Hot Take: Green needs more card draw
Probably already won the match and eating popcorn. Trying to escape Meta-slavery
Likes: Urza, Paradox Engine
Dislikes: Force of Negation, Shatterstorm
Hot Take: Faithless Looting did nothing wrong
Probably already lost the match to turn 2 Marit Lage. Thinks your favorite anime is bad.
Likes: Knight of the Reliquary, Tabernacle at Pendral Vale, Ultra-Wide Monitors
Dislikes: Masked Vandal, Karn
Hot Take: N/A
Warming his hands on a garbage fire. Trying to make Grisel-Aluren-Blade finally work by tapping his graveyard.
Likes: Ponder, Rest In Peace
Dislikes: Allosaurus Shepherd, Allosaurus Shepherd
Hot Take: Homelands is a good draft format
Swipin'. Forgot which order to Untap, Upkeep, Draw. Will always come back to you.
Likes: 3feri, Uro, Oko, Other busted 2020 cards probably
Dislikes: Ugin, Counterspell, Divination
Hot Take: Simic Ramp was a fun standard deck
Holding six lightning bolts and a gut shot. Out there bringing the glory.
Likes: Goblin Guide, Monastery Swiftspear, Lava Spike
Dislikes: Kitchen Finks, Thragtusk
Hot Take: Twenty life is too much
Spiking another tournament with Death's Shadow and forcing Selesnya in draft
Likes: Fetch, Shock, Thoughtseize
Dislikes: Chalice of the Void, Grove of the Burnwillows
Hot Take: Ixalan is a good draft format